POWER RANKINGS (Week Twelve- The Elite Eight Edition):
1. Texas Grilled Fritos (8-3, W4, +3) : Russ may be peeved that the two teams at the top of the league are points lepers, but you can't argue with four wins in a row no matter how ugly they are. With a decent showing against Crazy Ass Tartar last week and only two games left in the regular season I don't see Mark not making the playoffs. This week he plays the second Brother Bowl of the season against the 'Necks. Barring a loss, we'll see him back here next week.
2. Walking Fire Exits (7-4, W1, +4) : I predicted an end to the slide for the Exits and with his remaining schedule of Kyle and Fresh he has the opportunity to take down at least one of the FuglyBros. Last week he was back to form with a 30 point romp over Randall J. This week he goes up against the Dill Devils who scored 130 points out of nowhere last week. Can Randy Moss catch 4 more TD's and continue Russ' winning ways? Tune in.
3. Temporarily Stairs (6-5, L1, -1) : Last week was a week of upsets and Scott was one of the teams on th receiving end of it but don't look for him to skid too far down as he still has the overall points league but a string of bad luck he can't seem to shake. When you lose by 1.7 points to a team that has over 200 points less than you, you'll be looking for some revenge this week but he shouldn't get too crazy because Sam who is directly below him on the list is looking to secure a playoff spot.
4. April Fools (7-4, W1, +4) : As predicted Sam bounced right back with a near 100 point performance against the 'Necks. He also picked up resident pot smoker Ricky Williams who will try to make his umteenth return to the Dolphins. Hey, maybe they'll win a game. Anyhow, Sam can pretty much wrap up a playoff spot with a good showing against Scott this week. Will Tom Brady continue to let Sam ride him to the playoffs? Hmm... that sounded wrong. Oh well.
5. That's a Fresher (8-3, W4, --): U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you're ugly. Hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it. That seems to be the motto as Douglas has kept on winning along with his Michigan Fuglybro. Another squeaker last week as he eeked out t-stairs by 2. This week, he's going up against the $2 Bills. Yes, that was the same writeup. Like I said, if it ain't broke... P.S. I owe Douglas a great big gold star and the keys to the city.
6. 2,000 Rice (7-4, L1, -6) : "This week the Rice go up against the hopeless Severed Foot team and looks to cruise to an easy victory." Following a complete collapse by D.McNabb and an outstanding day by Vince Young for the Feet this could be the beginning of the end for Chris' reign on top. With no backup QB and the waiver wire looking bleak, this could be tough loss if Donovan can't come back. With a hot Ian and My Friend Tom Clark (tm) left there's no guarantee for the Rice.
7. Soccer 'N' Shishkabob (6-5, L1, -4) : So maybe it was a temporary resurgence. With a horrible under-40 point outing last week, Ben has to step it up this week if he wants to make the playoffs. I don't see the Severed Feet making it two in a row, but Big Ben needs a good performance and the Steelers and Saints need to win big!
8. Chainsaw Jugglers (6-5, W1, +2) : "This ain't over though, not by a long shot." There's a lot of quoting this week, and you know why? Because I'm smarter than I look. Carl took advantage of a weakened S & S team and broke off 61 points to get back into the Elite Eight but he has a tough match up with Randy this week in what looks to be a low scoring affair.Best of the Rest:
9. The Sponge Ruiners (6-5, W5, --): New Helmet = Win. By the power of Spongebob, I have miraculously won 5 in a row? Hardly. I have had a couple of guys come on to score when I needed it most and had some luck along the way but it wasn't an easy road going up against top 3 teams in 3 out of 5 matchups. This week the Ruiners go up against My Friend Tom Clark (tm) but don't think that friendship is going to save him. I'm hungry for a playoff spot and I don't care who I play!
10. Falling Candy Bars (6-5, L2, -3) : So fat Oprah showed up last week and dragged Ian down another 3 spots as he now is the rung below me on the ladder of power. I think his team is much better than the last two weeks, and by that I mean WAKE THE FUCK UP PEYTON MANNING! IAN NEEDS YOU! Anyhow, with a matchup against the suffering 2000 Rice, he's going to need big games from "The Endorsement Machine" and Pittsburg's D to keep in the playoff hunt.
11. Crazy Ass Tartar (5-6, L1, --): My Friend Tom Clark lost and he didn't move. That's karma. This week Tom looks to get back on track after losing to the top ranked Texas Grilled Fritos. He's struggled recently, but with Barber going against the Jets and the Browns going up against the Texans, he could put an end to his streak. For all that it's worth, I hope I win. No offense, friend.
12. Your Friends @ Yoplait (5-6, L1, --): Apparently he stopped looking at my notes after I accused him of cheating last week and suffered a loss. I don't think that the effort is lacking, it's just that when he does have an off week, it seems that the other team blows up for 80 or 90 and that keeps Randy in the middle of the pack for another week. I do have to say that his might be my favorite helmet though. :)
13. The Dill Devils (3-8, W1, +2): Kyle finally picks up a helluva win after having 5 guys go for nearly 20 points a piece and T.O. hauling in 4 TD's. If his team can produce even remotely like this all season he could have had a great shot in the playoffs, but he's looking to ruin seasons now and has a great opportunity going up against Russ' Exits this week. Could it be the upset of the 2007 Season? We'll see.
14. $2 Bills (4-7, L5, -1) : I don't know what to say about this one yet again. Just when I thought he was going to pick up a win with a solid effort last week (63 points) his luck continues to suck as Kyle goes off for 130. le *sigh*. Anyhow, this week he looks to end the streak and I wouldn't be totally surprised to see him do it if McNabb can get healthy in a hurry, otherwise look out.
15. I Hate Turtlenecks (3-8, L3, -1): The bad mojo continues to haunt the bottom of the list. Looking back at the last time he had his picture on here, you can't say that my philosophy about his picks played out as I thought. Namely, the 'Necks have tanked it. They've had bad luck and a tough first season, but hopefully they've had a good time and will be back next year nice and strong and with a new draft strategy. Also, he's a first time father this season, so give the guy a break, he's a busy man.
16. Severed Foot (1-10, W1, --): Mike Grote, that win makes you better than the Miami Dolphins. Seriously, what can I say about this season? He took some chances with Vince Young and Cadillac in the draft and has regretted it ever since. Mike isn't a bad fantasy manager, but right now you gotta be looking at this and going... wow. Roll on Mike Grote, Roll On.The Commish's Game of the Week:
I know it's getting near the end of the season, but concentrate on the real season and your families. Thanksgiving is upon us! Kick back! Relax! Eat so much you have to unbutton your jeans or loosen the knot on those sweatpants!
Mitchelly Yours,
The Commish
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