Mitch League Preview: Week 12

The Thanksgiving Edition brings you the state of the league with full writeups for each team! So without further adieu here's another week of Elite Eight and Best of the Rest comin' at yah!


POWER RANKINGS (Week Twelve- The Elite Eight Edition):

1. Texas Grilled Fritos (8-3, W4, +3) : Russ may be peeved that the two teams at the top of the league are points lepers, but you can't argue with four wins in a row no matter how ugly they are. With a decent showing against Crazy Ass Tartar last week and only two games left in the regular season I don't see Mark not making the playoffs. This week he plays the second Brother Bowl of the season against the 'Necks. Barring a loss, we'll see him back here next week.

2. Walking Fire Exits (7-4, W1, +4) : I predicted an end to the slide for the Exits and with his remaining schedule of Kyle and Fresh he has the opportunity to take down at least one of the FuglyBros. Last week he was back to form with a 30 point romp over Randall J. This week he goes up against the Dill Devils who scored 130 points out of nowhere last week. Can Randy Moss catch 4 more TD's and continue Russ' winning ways? Tune in.

3. Temporarily Stairs (6-5, L1, -1) : Last week was a week of upsets and Scott was one of the teams on th receiving end of it but don't look for him to skid too far down as he still has the overall points league but a string of bad luck he can't seem to shake. When you lose by 1.7 points to a team that has over 200 points less than you, you'll be looking for some revenge this week but he shouldn't get too crazy because Sam who is directly below him on the list is looking to secure a playoff spot.


4. April Fools (7-4, W1, +4) : As predicted Sam bounced right back with a near 100 point performance against the 'Necks. He also picked up resident pot smoker Ricky Williams who will try to make his umteenth return to the Dolphins. Hey, maybe they'll win a game. Anyhow, Sam can pretty much wrap up a playoff spot with a good showing against Scott this week. Will Tom Brady continue to let Sam ride him to the playoffs? Hmm... that sounded wrong. Oh well.

5. That's a Fresher (8-3, W4, --): U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you're ugly. Hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it. That seems to be the motto as Douglas has kept on winning along with his Michigan Fuglybro. Another squeaker last week as he eeked out t-stairs by 2. This week, he's going up against the $2 Bills. Yes, that was the same writeup. Like I said, if it ain't broke... P.S. I owe Douglas a great big gold star and the keys to the city.

6. 2,000 Rice (7-4, L1, -6) : "This week the Rice go up against the hopeless Severed Foot team and looks to cruise to an easy victory." Following a complete collapse by D.McNabb and an outstanding day by Vince Young for the Feet this could be the beginning of the end for Chris' reign on top. With no backup QB and the waiver wire looking bleak, this could be tough loss if Donovan can't come back. With a hot Ian and My Friend Tom Clark (tm) left there's no guarantee for the Rice.

7. Soccer 'N' Shishkabob (6-5, L1, -4) : So maybe it was a temporary resurgence. With a horrible under-40 point outing last week, Ben has to step it up this week if he wants to make the playoffs. I don't see the Severed Feet making it two in a row, but Big Ben needs a good performance and the Steelers and Saints need to win big!


8. Chainsaw Jugglers (6-5, W1, +2) : "This ain't over though, not by a long shot." There's a lot of quoting this week, and you know why? Because I'm smarter than I look. Carl took advantage of a weakened S & S team and broke off 61 points to get back into the Elite Eight but he has a tough match up with Randy this week in what looks to be a low scoring affair.





Best of the Rest:

9. The Sponge Ruiners (6-5, W5, --): New Helmet = Win. By the power of Spongebob, I have miraculously won 5 in a row? Hardly. I have had a couple of guys come on to score when I needed it most and had some luck along the way but it wasn't an easy road going up against top 3 teams in 3 out of 5 matchups. This week the Ruiners go up against My Friend Tom Clark (tm) but don't think that friendship is going to save him. I'm hungry for a playoff spot and I don't care who I play!

10. Falling Candy Bars (6-5, L2, -3) : So fat Oprah showed up last week and dragged Ian down another 3 spots as he now is the rung below me on the ladder of power. I think his team is much better than the last two weeks, and by that I mean WAKE THE FUCK UP PEYTON MANNING! IAN NEEDS YOU! Anyhow, with a matchup against the suffering 2000 Rice, he's going to need big games from "The Endorsement Machine" and Pittsburg's D to keep in the playoff hunt.

11. Crazy Ass Tartar (5-6, L1, --): My Friend Tom Clark lost and he didn't move. That's karma. This week Tom looks to get back on track after losing to the top ranked Texas Grilled Fritos. He's struggled recently, but with Barber going against the Jets and the Browns going up against the Texans, he could put an end to his streak. For all that it's worth, I hope I win. No offense, friend.

12. Your Friends @ Yoplait (5-6, L1, --): Apparently he stopped looking at my notes after I accused him of cheating last week and suffered a loss. I don't think that the effort is lacking, it's just that when he does have an off week, it seems that the other team blows up for 80 or 90 and that keeps Randy in the middle of the pack for another week. I do have to say that his might be my favorite helmet though. :)




13. The Dill Devils (3-8, W1, +2): Kyle finally picks up a helluva win after having 5 guys go for nearly 20 points a piece and T.O. hauling in 4 TD's. If his team can produce even remotely like this all season he could have had a great shot in the playoffs, but he's looking to ruin seasons now and has a great opportunity going up against Russ' Exits this week. Could it be the upset of the 2007 Season? We'll see.

14. $2 Bills (4-7, L5, -1) : I don't know what to say about this one yet again. Just when I thought he was going to pick up a win with a solid effort last week (63 points) his luck continues to suck as Kyle goes off for 130. le *sigh*. Anyhow, this week he looks to end the streak and I wouldn't be totally surprised to see him do it if McNabb can get healthy in a hurry, otherwise look out.

15. I Hate Turtlenecks (3-8, L3, -1): The bad mojo continues to haunt the bottom of the list. Looking back at the last time he had his picture on here, you can't say that my philosophy about his picks played out as I thought. Namely, the 'Necks have tanked it. They've had bad luck and a tough first season, but hopefully they've had a good time and will be back next year nice and strong and with a new draft strategy. Also, he's a first time father this season, so give the guy a break, he's a busy man.


16. Severed Foot (1-10, W1, --): Mike Grote, that win makes you better than the Miami Dolphins. Seriously, what can I say about this season? He took some chances with Vince Young and Cadillac in the draft and has regretted it ever since. Mike isn't a bad fantasy manager, but right now you gotta be looking at this and going... wow. Roll on Mike Grote, Roll On.


The Commish's Game of the Week:

I know it's getting near the end of the season, but concentrate on the real season and your families. Thanksgiving is upon us! Kick back! Relax! Eat so much you have to unbutton your jeans or loosen the knot on those sweatpants!


Mitchelly Yours,
The Commish

Mitch League Preview: Week 11

The return of the last minute preview... So without further adieu here's another week of Elite Eight and Best of the Rest comin' at yah!


POWER RANKINGS (Week Ten- The Elite Eight Edition):

1. 2,000 Rice (7-3, W3, --) : Last week Chris won by 40 points over a Jugglers team that has a hole in the bottom of the boat and is sinking fast. This week the Rice go up against the hopeless Severed Foot team and looks to cruise to an easy victory. It's still anyone's game, but Chris' team looks pretty damn good right now. He'll have a couple of tests here at the end with Ian and My Friend Tom Clark (tm) but his team is clicking on all cylinders.

2. Temporarily Stairs (6-4, W1, +3) : Scott apparently took my advice to heart last week as the Stairs blew up for 94 points getting awesome play from Romo and Westbrook. As long as they keep chucking up stats and the supporting cast stays sharp this team is playoff bound and looking at one of the top seeds.


3. Soccer 'N' Shishkabob (6-4, W2, +6) : Ben makes it back into the Elite Eight after having a great day last week with a superb win over the former juggernaut, the Exits. Was it an age old story of one team on the rise and one on the decline? We'll see as Ben goes up against Carl this week with both teams having a lot to prove. We know one thing for sure Ben + Big Ben = Big Love. Mothamercy.


4. Texas Grilled Fritos (7-3, W3, +3) : Is anyone else having flashbacks to last year? The only difference with wins is that they are uglier and Mark has many fewer points, but week in and week out the man wins, and you can't hate on that. He's as high as he's been all year but will have a tough match up against Tom today. Mark my words, it's going to come down to QB performance in this one.



5. That's a Fresher (7-3, W3, +3): U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you're ugly. Hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it. That seems to be the motto as Douglas has kept on winning along with his Michigan Fuglybro. Another squeaker last week as he eeked out April Fools by 3. This week, he's going up against Temporarily Stairs and if he can pull this one off. I'll give him a great big gold star and the keys to the city.


6. Walking Fire Exits (6-4, L3, -4) : Okay, so maybe Priest isn't going to be the religion that Russ needed, but with a solid match up against Randy and a couple of favorable conditions for his players, I predict an end to the slide for the Exits. Also, if I may, I'd like to predict that rapper and entrepreneur Sir Mix-A-Lot will be making a comeback with an all new song about... butts. Athankyou.

7. Falling Candy Bars (6-4, L1, -4) : Okay, so I didn't mean to jinx the Vikings and the Bars by having Adrian Peterson actually blow up. With a team on the mend, Ian has to be thinking, what's next? The Commish is next bitch. And he's comin'... to getcha! Odds of Ian winning: Oprah Winfrey:1. In other words, it's constantly fluctuating.


8. April Fools (6-4, L1, -4) : Okay, so maybe he shouldn't be this far down after only losing by 3 points, but hey, I bad mouthed Sam enough that he started kicking ass so often it was silly. He looks to rebound this week against Paul in a match up that he is greatly favored in. Also, I have listened to the album Sam's Town about 20 times this last week because I've found that I really enjoy the swagger of The Killers sophomore release. What does this all add up to? Victory.


Best of the Rest:

9. The Sponge Ruiners (5-5, W4, +2): I promised myself a reward for getting to .500. Yah me!
10. Chainsaw Jugglers (5-5, L3, -4) : Apparently the 'saws are not that sharp. This ain't over though, not by a long shot.
11. Crazy Ass Tartar (W-5, W1, -1): My Friend Tom Clark won and moved down. Life ain't fair.
12. Your Friends @ Yoplait (5-5, W2, --): Randy is at .500, I am at .500. You are a cheater.
13. $2 Bills (4-6, L4, --) : I don't know what to say about this one. Monumental collapse
14. I Hate Turtlenecks (3-7, L2, --): Can the momentum last? How 'bout yes, but the wrong kind.
15. The Dill Devils (2-8, L4, --): Kyle has to be wondering how Texas and Fresh do it.
16. Severed Foot (0-10, L10, --): Mike Grote, you suck.



The Commish's Game(s!) of the Week:











It's another matchup brought to you by Fuglybros, Inc. If Fresh can beat Scott, he's for real... again. I don't know if he's got the power to do it, but you never know. Romocop and B.West look to have big days in big matchups, so all I gotta say for Fresh is Go Seahawks.

Prediction: Stairs 82, Fresh 43


I'm really happy with the way the league is evening out and happy to have all of you as Managers. Let me know how you think the league is going and if you have any suggestions for next year. Anyhow, good luck this week!


Mitchelly Yours,
The Commish

Mitch League Preview: Week 9

Mitch League Preview: Week 9

Apologies for the lack of rankings last week. Fellow Commissioner Sam Carlsen of the April Fools was down on the coast and time got away from me! But fear not true believers, because here's another week of Elite Eight and Best of the Rest comin' at yah!


POWER RANKINGS (Week Nine- The Elite Eight Edition):

1. Walking Fire Exits (6-2) : Well, despite another loss Russ still looks like the one to beat. With a tough match up this week, he's hoping that he can get the huge week out of his superstar receiving tandem in order to stay atop the rankings and defeat the 4th ranked 2,000 Rice. Last week's loss? We'll chalk that up to Drew Karma. 'Nuff Said.

2. Temporarily Stairs (5-3) : Consider the corner turned. Scott's team has come out the last three week and owned opponents by a total of 81 points. "Oh, he's playing creampuffs", you say. Not so. Two of those teams are Elite Eight members and the other is well... special. My mom says so at least (and so do a couple of yours ;). As he heads into this week in a dead heat with Yoplait according to Yahoo, look for the play of the Eagles and the Cowboys in their match up to determine this one for Scooter Pie.

3. Chainsaw Jugglers (5-3) : To Carl I am sure that it appears that there is a glass ceiling in Mitch League this year. No matter how good he is, he can't seem to get to the top of the ladder. With some tough match-ups on the top, this could be his week if he can find a way to beat the Commish. One thing that might help that? Having a QB that's starting. I hate to remind him, but better late than never!

4. 2,000 Rice (5-3) : The run continues for Chris as he decimated his brother in the infamous Sibling Rivarly Showdown last week by over 70 points. He had standout days from his team including all but one person scoring in the double digits highlighted by the triumphant return of Joseph Addai to his lineup. Can he knock off the top ranked Exits and continue his march to the top? Look for it in the Commish's Game of the Week!

5. April Fools (5-3) : Not only did Sam hold on two weeks ago against a great Falling Candy Bars team, but he did so in convincing fashion and then continued on to aid the Dill Devils further down the Power ladder on his way to a fourth win in a row! There is no one hotter in the league and Sam looks to bring that into a matchup with the inconsistent, but powerful Crazy Ass Tartar run by My Friend Tom Clark (tm). Will Brady be victorious over Peyton and propel Sam further up the Rankings? We will see.

6. Falling Candy Bars (5-3) : Ian has lost two in a row, but don't count this weekend warrior out just yet. He's still a threat every week and with Peyton going up against the Pats, this will be a true test of the rest of the team to step up and prove that he's more than a one trick pony. Do I see him losing to Turtlenecks? No. Do I see him riding the L and hanging out with his girlfriend? When I'm in town. Odds of a win: Monkey Nuggets:1

7. Soccer 'N' Shishkabob (4-4): Inconsistent effort is what has kept Ben down all year, but with a promising match up against Brian, the future looks bright if his team can stay hot. With Andre Johnson on the way back to the lineup, Ben looks poised to make a playoff run.

8. Texas Grilled Fritos (5-3) : Like Sluggo says, "God Loves Ugly" and that win last week is nothing but. With a pairing of the Fritos and the beat up Severed Feet this week, it looks like another win for the Mirror powered Fritos.



Best of the Rest:

9. Crazy Ass Tartar (2-4): My Friend Tom Clark has caught a break and is on the move.
10. That's a Fresher (4-2): U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi, you're... 5-3? Crap.
11. The Sponge Ruiners (3-5): We're out to ruin your season. Watch you backs.
12. Your Friends @ Yoplait (3-5): This guy can't buy a break... he's tried.
13. $2 Bills (4-4) : No LT = No win for B seems to be the mantra.
14. I Hate Turtlenecks (3-5): He bounced back last week, can the momentum last?
15. The Dill Devils (2-6): Kyle has to be wondering how Texas and Fresh do it.
16. Severed Foot (0-8): Mike Grote, the world cries for you and laughs with you.



The Commish's Game of the Week?

Walking Fire Exits (6-2) vs. 2000 Rice (5-3)

Let's just put it this way. We've had a lot of awesome match-ups this year, but as we enter the second half, this is a barnburner to have leading off the lineup of games. 2000 rice has been tearing it up and with Brett Favre looking to Greg Jennings more often, Joseph Addai back in the lineup and the Detroit D11 looking like they have D12 on the field, this is a tough match up for our number 1 ranked team. Russ will look to avenge last week's loss and prove he belongs atop the Rankings as Carson and Co. head up to Buffalo for what he hopes will be a successful hunting trip. With Randy Moss going up against the Colts and Minnesota's excellent run Defense going against LT, this is going to be a great one.

Prediction: Walking Fire Exits 70, 2000 Rice 67


Glad to be back. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in northern Alabama and I'm doing what all good Alabamans do on a Sunday morning... visit the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchberg, Tennessee! Good luck this week!


Mitchelly Yours,
The Commish