This was mentioned to me as one of the funny things that are unique to my league so I thought I would rattle some biographies off so we could all have a little background on who each other are and how I know everyone. Also, in light of the fact that there are only so many Mitch jokes and there won’t be any new ones, think carefully about your name! If you want to check out jokes for your team’s namesake you can go to wikiquote or just google Mitch Hedberg jokes and you will get a really extensive summary. Also, if you like a previous team’s name and they are no longer using it, post something to ask permission if you’d like to use it. Anyhoo, without further adieu…
Returning Franchises:
James Wheeler/Oh Yeah, Kinko's (formerly Race Car Passengers)- I am back to resume the Commissionary Position for the third year of Mitch League Football. Started in 2005 and consisting of ten teams the league has continued to grow encompassing my family and friends from high school, college, and grad school. I am moving down to Mississippi for the next couple of years to work with Mississippi State’s Gulf Coast Community Design Studio doing design work for those impacted by Hurricane Katrina.
Mark Williams/Texas Grilled Fritos- My cousin who is the first of many Michiganders in the ranks of Mitch League was a powerhouse for most of last year and looks to capitalize in his sophomore season and get into the playoffs. If you like to fish, talk to this guy, he’s a champ.
Kyle Larson/The Dill Devils- A high school friend who has been with Mitch League all three years, he has been also known as the Used To Too’s, one of my favorite jokes and names that people have come up with so far. His unpredictable draft style leaves many scratching their heads, but it has paid off with good records thus far. He’s a wildcard folks!
Ian Wolfe/Falling Candy Bars (formerly Blurry Bigfoots)- Another Skipper who has been around since the beginning Ian lives in Chicago and will be starting the final year of his law degree from DePaul in the fall. A true titan of the gridiron, Ian also happens to be blurry, which makes him extra scary this year.
Randy Turco/Your Friends at Yoplait (formerly The AABBCC’s)- You love him, you hate him, you’ll never forget him. Turc is one of my best friends from my undergrad and a fantasy vet. Hailing from Lansing Michigan, he is smoking tires and grinding gears (waiting to go back to school for law) while running a branch of his uncle’s business *how-hooooooooooooooooow*. His love for Minnesota is only matched by his love for Mitch.
Doug Rohr/That’s a Fresher- Randall’s friend from the way back, Fresh came out of nowhere last year and won the league with some late season hijinks that put him as the man to beat. He is another of the Funroe, Michigan kliq and is looking for a repeat championship. Just add an ‘-er’.
Brian Timm/The $2 Bills (formerly 40008 Applications)- This guy plays more fantasy than Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy combined. A penultimate competitor Brian is recently married and living out east. He is friends with Randy and the Commish in another league I am in, hence the connection. He has been held out of Champion’s circle thus far, but he is always in the hunt.
Russ Wilson/Walking Fire Exits (formerly Bundt Cake Addicts)- The inaugural champion of Mitch League beat Brian out and had a solid year last year but wants to get back to his top dog status. My former roommate and good friend from grad school recently moved to Connecticut to take a great job with Pickard Chilton Design along with his fiancée Stephanie.
Scott Aspenson/Temporarily Stairs- This man knows speed. Plain and simple he’s the cream of the crop and he’ll rise to the top. This loft inhabitant of downtown Minneapolis is living the life and the only thing that eludes him is the Mitch League trophy. Oh, and in case you didn’t know… he owns a Wii.
Tom Clark/Crazy Ass Tartar (formerly Quadruple Tree)- My Friend Tom Clark™ is a hard-working, no-nonsense guy with a sense of humor and kind disposition that puts you at ease. But behind that everyman exterior beats the heart of a battle-forged warrior. Hailing from Wisconsin, but rocking his adopted home of Minneapolis, you can’t ever count this guy out. Ever.
Carl Olson/Chainsaw Jugglers- Returning for a second trip through the Gridiron Gauntlet, Carl is a great guy all-around and the guy you go have a drink with to forget about life for a while. One of the keenest guys in grad school with good taste in beer and a smile that leaves the ladies breathless he was a surprise powerhouse near the end of last year. Can he avoid the sophomore slump? Time will tell.
Departing Franchises:
Nick Fugate/The Dwelling Cheeses- It is with great sorrow that Mitch League says goodbye to Nick Fugate and the Dwelling Cheeses. After a tough startup year. Nick has made the decision to bow out of MLF '07. We wish him the best of luck in future endeavors.
Rebooted Franchises:
Ben Muller/Soccer and Shishkabob- The first ever franchise reboot for Mitch League, this will hopefully be like Cleveland getting the Browns back, only they won’t suck as much! Ben lives with his wife Tiffany in Pennsylvania where he is going to be starting his thesis this fall. He is one of my best friends from my architectural undergraduate degree and is back on the bandwagon!
New Franchises:
Paul Williams/I Hate Turtlenecks- Mark’s brother, Michigander and also my Cousin was inadvertently left out of last year’s league due to miscommunication, but we’re looking to rectify that this year as Pauly joins Mitch League and also welcomes a baby to the family, with his wife Molly.
Chris Lagenus/2,000 Rice- Not much is known to me about Chris other than the fact that he is Brian’s brother. I have played against him in leagues before and he is a top tier player so look for him to make an immediate impact.
Mike Grote/Severed Feet- Mike is a construction manager and professional ass-kicker for Architecture for Humanity who works with me at the Gulf Coast Community Design Studio. He has been kicked out of leagues for his extraordinary shit talking, so Russ and Brian, watch out!
Sam Carlsen/April Fools- Sam is another fellow Minnesotan here in Mississippi. He was part of the studio not-so-much abroad program in Biloxi. He is planning on doing his thesis down in the gulf and if he is half as good at fantasy football as he is at rocking the coast, we may all be in trouble.
